|
Bare Neccessities /
dot leong.shambles and sort of liberty surpassed your eyes forfeited the game All I Can Say, I Should Have Said /
Burdees /
annabel
andrew
carmen
debbie
dottoo
enid
justin
meichen
Run Away While We Still Have Time /
February 2010March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 Honey and the Moon
Leaving this space. Going back to where I still fe... Why do people like to do things that hurt themselv... I can never fit into groups of threes. Its like I ... Its true. As you grow older, the number of friends... Kris Allen's Version of Falling Slowly Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn; My ... Sometimes. I'm in a book, for you to read and then throw out... To be honest, when we first met, "I love you"was d... Sometimes it's good to know that you have friends ... Credits /
This skin is produced by Headlight Productions. The icons are from Three More Steps. All codes are meticulously hand-coded, and can not be used as basecodes or reference. All css and javascript in the code passes validation.© Copyright Headlight 2008 - Forever. All Rights Reserved. |
//Friday, April 30, 2010 3:35 PM
God is in control.
:)
// 11:40 AM
Commitment is the component of love. Short term commitment is the decision that one loves someone. The long term aspect is the commitment to maintain that love.
You said that love is a decision. Never knew what it meant, now I do. Kns #$$^#%&@$&^$&^&$^& Love is love. Commitment is commitment you double standard asshole. As I write all these down, every speckle of doubt and emotion is slowly dissipating for you. No longer worth it.
// 12:32 AM
I pray and hope that when my fever is gone, you will also be too.
At the same time, I wish all my unruly emotions will go as well. I don't understand the rationality of doing something irrational.
//Thursday, April 29, 2010 10:22 PM
Isn't it much braver that we are all living and breathing right now?
// 12:57 PM
One thing I've learnt about life, it goes on.
No one deserves to go through all the pain and the sadness, but one does not deserve even more so to end all these and causing even more pain and sadness for their loved ones. It is unfair.
//Wednesday, April 28, 2010 10:56 PM
Running Away
It's alright if there's nothing more to say. So I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away. Don't tell me I'm the one to blame. It's too late for you to make me stay. No, I won't stay. So I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away. And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place. And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving Yeah I'm leaving today. And I, I'll never let you find me. I'm leaving you behind with the past No, I won't look back. And I don't want to hear your reasons. Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay. And try, and try to understand me And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay I, I'm moving on from this place I'm leaving and I won't quit running away. I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away.
// 3:17 PM
Melonxz
It seems strange, that I never really knew you, and in our whole life, we exchanged only a few words. You were a beautiful girl, you still are. You had so much to live for, every inch of you, even down to the core of your bone, it was beautiful, but you never realised it yourself.
Can one really feel that much sadness? How does one bottle them all down and not let them reveal themselves ever till the last minute? You were too tired, and you needed sleep, sleep was all you ever wanted. Strange, all too strange. Living fast and dying young, it does not appeal to me anymore. Never made sense. Maybe it was its irrationality I embraced. Now I am repelling from it. You woke up the love in me. I just wished that you didn't have to be this way. I may go back to taking life for granted soon, for now, let me mourn, for today I lived and I lost, twice. My prayer is answered, I am falling sick.
// 2:18 PM
没了就没了
生气够了就过了 痛哭够了就过了 爱累了就结束了 接受能带来邂逅 了解能够给我自由 对不起 谢谢
//Tuesday, April 27, 2010 4:37 PM
“Once upon a mathematical equation,
One plus one was enough persuasion To give you reason to stay, To give you reason to obey The laws of chemical attraction. But you decided that our fraction Was better off divided Was better off one-sided, So you subtracted more than I could give And left me alone in the negative.”
// 11:08 AM
Selfishness
I can't bear to see you in joy at the expense of my pain.
But at the same time, I hope you are living in happiness without feeling my pain.
//Monday, April 26, 2010 10:50 PM
愛情之所以為愛情
買CD 把你的聲音丟在角落
看電影 到結局總是配角的錯 你要的故事 讓你去說 我要的生活 我好好過 寫日記 寫不出是誰的感受 夜空裡 每個人佔有一個星座 你到底懂不懂 我只要一點溫熱的觸碰 你到底懂不懂 有些話 並不是 一定要說 你總說愛情之所以為愛情 是用來揮霍 你總是漫不在乎 當我看著自己的稀薄 你編織的感覺難以捉摸 你比我的夢境還困惑 我看見愛情之所以為愛情 誰都在揮霍 我想的天長地久 也許只是時間的荒謬 我沈迷的感動與你不同 我的了解讓我自由 一場雨 有時候下得不是時候 就像你 說難過不是真的難過 你到底懂不懂 我只要一個安穩的等候 你到底懂不懂 想你想得好像 空氣都停了 你總說愛情之所以為愛情 是用來揮霍 你總是漫不在乎 當我看著自己的稀薄 你編織的感覺難以捉摸 你比我的夢境還困惑 我看見愛情之所以為愛情 誰都在揮霍 我想的天長地久 也許只是時間的荒謬 我沈迷的感動與你不同 我的了解讓我自由 你總說愛情之所以為愛情 是用來揮霍 你總是漫不在乎 當我看著自己的稀薄 你編織的感覺難以捉摸 你比我的夢境還困惑 我看見愛情之所以為愛情 誰都在揮霍 我想的天長地久 也許只是時間的荒謬 我沈迷的感動與你不同 我的了解讓我自由 我沈迷的感動與你不同 我的了解讓我自由
// 4:29 PM
Taken From Jonella's Tumblr
The Man I’m Going to Marry Someday
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
Meaning that GIRLS, don't ever downgrade your criteria for the man you are going to spend your lifetime with, anymore!
// 2:34 PM
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you.
My only regret if I'd have to die now would be that I didn't love well and passionately enough.
// 1:24 AM
Mary Jane
I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain Until I saw the stranger that was you Whatever happened to our innocence And the somethin' that you said about being friends Tell me how Help me say the words out loud Could it be That nothings gonna change Cause time has got a way of taking back Everything you thought you had Can you see The girl you used to be The one I lost when I let go of you Oh whatever happened to Mary Jane Ooh ooh Ooh ooh I need to wake up from this state of mind The situation is the same kind I gotta get your memory out of my head Would you catch me if I had to fall Would you even find the time for that at all Tell me how Help me say the words out loud Could it be That nothings gonna change Time has got a way of taking back Everything you thought you had Can you see The girl you used to be The one I lost when I let go of you Oh whatever happened to Mary Jane Ooh ooh Ooh ooh Cause time has taken back Everything I thought we had Mary Jane.. Could it be Nothings gonna change Cause time has got a way of taking back Everything you thought you had Can you see The girl you used to be The one I lost when I let go of you Oh whatever happened to Mary Jane Ooh ooh Oh whatever happened to Ooh ooh Mary Jane
//Sunday, April 25, 2010 3:08 PM
I thought I was fine.
But in truth, my heart has died. Every part of me has died with it. Get out of my life, really. I wished you would vaporize into thin air. By then I will really be happy. It isn't the strong at heart who are heartless, it is the ones who had been hurt over and over and took it all in who become hardened and obscure in their emotions. I don't want to turn out that way.
// 1:47 AM
Imagine
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
还是有一点孩子气.
//Saturday, April 24, 2010 2:21 PM
I feel so good right now.
You don't deserve to love anyone at all. And no one should ever feel sad for you. Because you are not worth their tears. Esther: God gives us the bad apples first, so when the good one comes, we will learn to treasure it.
// 5:18 AM
Now I am wondering, whether you ever intended to hurt me in the first place before you gave up. I am understanding a bit more, but does it matter now?
//Thursday, April 22, 2010 8:00 PM
4th post of the day, but look what I've found on the net.
Paul Newman on marriage: “I’ve repeatedly said that for people who have as little in common as Joanne and myself, we have an uncommonly good marriage. We are actors. We make pictures and that’s about all we have in common. Maybe that’s enough. Wives shouldn’t feel obligated to accompany their husbands to a ball game, husbands do look a bit silly attending morning coffee breaks with the neighborhood wives when most men are out at work. Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other ... You can’t spend a lifetime breathing down each other’s necks ... We are very, very different people and yet somehow we fed off those varied differences and instead of separating us, it has made the whole bond a lot stronger.” Paul Newman, awwww. :)
// 7:21 PM
For Sharon's sake again, I am translating.
You've walked for too long, it must have been tiring
He's in the wrong; you shouldn't have to face everything Leaving him, is good enough, let your heart be decisive in this. He wasn't that perfect actually, if you looked further you'd see his flaws Leaving him does not mean your world will fall apart Turn round a bend and you would still fly So don't cry for him anymore, don't let him control your pain So what if you have had been dumb, you have had regrets, don't be distressed He's not worth your tears, throw away your regrets on the rain covered paths You had chased blindly in the long maze, be drunk for yourself in the future Every relationship is very precious, place his good points in your heart And remember the person who had broken your heart that badly When you smile, you light up the night sky, no dream can ever compare to your beauty Many years later when you think back about him, you'd still might have some understanding But by then, you won't be bothered anymore So don't cry for him anymore, don't let him control your pain So what if you have had been dumb, you have had regrets, don't be distressed He's not worth your tears, throw away your regrets on the rain covered paths You had chased blindly in the long maze, don't care about him anymore. *I is cannot get the feeling out in English, much. The video is two posts down.*
// 6:16 PM
Today I told the people whom I miss so much, that I miss them.
// 12:30 PM
As it all boils down to one word.
Tired. Just tired of it all. Do we flourish with age? That is a matter of choice, of decisions that we make. Listened to this song in the morning, whoa man. Speaks volumes. 你走了太久一定很累 他錯了不該你來面對
離開他就好就算了心情很乾脆 他其實沒有那麼絕對 遠一點你就看出真偽 離開他不等於你的世界會崩潰 轉個彎你還能飛 就別再為他流淚 別再讓他操控你的傷悲 就算有一點愚昧一點點後悔 也不要太狼狽 他不值得你的淚 把那遺憾丟在大雨的街 你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追 以後為自己醉 每段感情都非常珍貴 他的好你就放在心扉
記得有個人曾讓你那樣的心碎 你笑了照亮夜幕的黑 什麼夢都不比你的美
多少年以後想起他還有些體會 那時你已無所謂 (以後管他是誰)
// 12:05 AM
Sa Ding Ding.
I feel so tired having to succumb to expectations of other people, when they act like they do, I feel compelled to be like one of them. It's wrong and I don't realise it at the end. I deserve to feel guilty, I deserve all these emotions, if not they won't ever humble me and I won't ever get over myself.
//Wednesday, April 21, 2010 11:27 PM
You remind me of a modern day Romeo, cues the Shakespearish verses and proses that you make up.
// 10:41 PM
One, to be free of the people we do not need in our lives.
Two, it's not that we don't love them, we can't bring ourselves to love them enough. Now, that isn't love at all. Three, to tell off the people who do matter to us, whom we want them to become better people.
//Tuesday, April 20, 2010 11:49 PM
Bleak.
Humans.
We live by double standards. One minute we tell you we love you, the other we go around breaking everyone's hearts. We promise you something, but yet we don't do it, because it's too hard to change ourselves, for someone who we think unworthy, and we leave it as we are, because we love ourselves too much. Age, do we grow with age? Do our hearts flourish with age? Can we make sure we don't get broken up with age? Age, such fragility. You can break it apart, make something work while you are trying to come to terms that you are getting older. Lastly, fuck you and your double standards. I am glad to be rid of it all. And I am going to make something break, for better, or for worse. Its your problem.
// 2:35 PM
Omg. I find that I like school better when I am less emotionally disturbed. Heh.
//Monday, April 19, 2010 11:46 PM
The postcard. Its very existence serves my purpose to write to you, to pour out little bits of myself as you read on, the dark ink over the pale side of the card. Something to look forward during this week. (:
// 1:24 AM
Another new week, it's draining me even before the actual day begins.
Compared to you, my life is much duller and bleaker.
//Sunday, April 18, 2010 10:44 PM
For you.
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX (CATHOLIC ONLINE) - Every sin is a failure. However, there is a lot that we can learn every time we say no to the Lord. Every moment of sin is a moment to love more. During the Last Supper, Peter assured the Lord of his love. Nevertheless, Jesus predicted that he would deny him three times. Sometimes pride causes us to sin. We feel confident that we can handle certain situations. Pride can even blind us from the memory of past experiences, and we fall in the same hole over and over again. In this Sunday's gospel narrative, Jesus asks Peter three times if he really does love him. The triple profession of love that Peter makes after the Resurrection overcomes his threefold denial before the Passion. When Peter denied the Lord, the Scriptures tell us that he went away and wept bitterly. Through repentance and compunction, Peter was able to mistrust his own abilities and put his trust entirely in the Lord. He discovered that left to his own abilities, he would continue to fall. However, united to the power of God's grace, he could overcome himself and persevere in fidelity. There must be a reason why Jesus chose Peter to be the head of his Apostles. He trusted Peter and knew that he would return loving even more. Perfect people do not exist. God always chooses the weak in order to bring about great tasks. People who recognize their weaknesses, sinfulness and limitations are humble. Humility allows them to rely on God's grace and not on their own capabilities. The arrogant do not allow God to work in their lives, or through them, in the lives of others. "Peter, do you love me"? Peter was asked this question three times. Three times Peter assured the Lord that he loved him, and three times Peter was commissioned to show his love by feeding the flock. This reminds us that love is not comprised of empty promises. Love is made manifest in giving ourselves to others. Easter is all about the new way of life called Christianity. Feeding lambs and feeding sheep means that because of Jesus, we no longer can live for ourselves. We need to be kind to each other, affirm and encourage one another, serve and forgive one another. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Many of the greatest saints of the Catholic Church were at one time great sinners. Simply consider the sins of David, Magdalen, Paul and Augustine. Nevertheless, they, like many others, were able to turn their lives around and love even more.
// 12:57 AM
I feel worn out because I wore out my thoughts for you.
Stupid thoughts. Stupid yell outs at the breakwater today. I will ignore you and everything about you. Because now I realize, you don't bother at all. And humans are scary, they live by double standards, I fear for this weak willed shell of mine. I kinda just forgot how to be happy right now.
//Saturday, April 17, 2010 12:33 AM
If you don't learn now, you will never learn ever.
While you keep your past as trophies, having claimed victory over "battles", I am cutting you off, having contemplated whether this was a heartless decision or such. I am going to win bigger battles, and even bigger wars, and you'd be content serving your own satisfactions and wallow in your self pity when you lose but do nothing about it because that's always the easiest for you, isn't it?
I feel evil today. Gosh. But for you, who the hell cares?
//Friday, April 16, 2010 8:25 PM
I deleted every picture I had with you, not that we took a lot though.
Right now, lingering is a bad thing to do, I don't want to resort to that like a sick puppy. Now, how should I spend my night? Staying at home is proving to be a bore, and its making my thoughts run all wild and paranoid. I will have to come and accept the fact that you will have to get your life back, go out with other people, have new flings and stuff. Why do people even want to label themselves as flings anyways? Its like your self worth can just go down so many notches.
//Thursday, April 15, 2010 3:45 PM
I don't owe you anything. Just that I mercilessly cut you out of my heart so I can move on.
// 1:42 AM
Wearing your heart on your sleeve
It is sure as you are Roderigo,
Were I the Moor, I would not be Iago: In following him, I follow but myself; Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty, But seeming so, for my peculiar end: For when my outward action doth demonstrate The native act and figure of my heart In compliment extern, 'tis not long after But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve For daws to peck at: I am not what I am.
// 12:24 AM
Of a BBQ I was not bent on going.
I ran out halfway of the BBQ to meet Siying just now. Couldn't take the lovey dovey atmosphere at the pit. So I went out to take a breather. It proved to be an enlightening moment for me, more so of a closure that I needed to seek.
We talked about our past and our present. At that point, there seemed to be no future. I am honestly really relieved now, and my past posts are the opposite of how I feel, the anger, the hurt, the unfairness, the bitterness and the resentment, of myself. What for? Really, when you are a floater, I was actually at the rock bottom and you were only at the surface, trying to catch onto shore, but you can never reach it because you don't try hard enough, and thus, you'd drown, drown in your ruins. I don't and I never wish for that to happen to you, so I am going to do a closure on this soon. Because I am not scared anymore. If I love you, I love you as my brother, as my friend. How much time do I need? The moment is now. I sincerely hope that whoever your next girl is, treat her with the respect that she deserves, in spite yourself. Love her and correct her in a fraternal manner. She will never be good for you, if you don't allow her to be. Louis, with you, thank God that I only have the best memories a girl could ever wish for. Thank you, in a warped way for letting me go. I'd wish you will get the right idea of love in your mind. Thank you Siying for having been with me to tell me more about him. He's great as a friend, but for now, real sucky as a lover. Bleah.
//Tuesday, April 13, 2010 11:06 PM
Bella Luna
Mystery the moon
A hole in the sky A supernatural night light So full but often right A pair of eyes a closing one A chosen child in golden sun A marble dog that chases cars To farthest reaches of the beach and far beyond into the swimming sea of stars The cosmic fish they love to kiss They're giving birth to constellations No riffs and oh no reservation If they should fall you get a wish or dedication May I suggest you get the best For nothing less than you and I Let's take a chance as this romance is rising over before we lose the lighting Oh Bella Bella please Bella you beautiful Luna Oh Bella do what you do Do do do do do You are an illuminating anchor Of leagues to infinite number Of crashing waves and breaking thunder Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger You're dancing naked there for me You expose all memory You make the most of boundary You're the ghost of royalty imposing love You are the queen and king combining everything Intertwining like a ring around the finger, of a girl I'm just a singer, you're the world All I can bring ya Is the language of a lover Bella Luna, my beautiful beautiful moon How you swoon me like no other May I suggest you get the best Of your wish may I insist That no contest for little you or smaller I A larger chance yet, but all them may lie On the rise, on the brink of our lives Bella please Bella you beautiful Luna Oh Bella do what you do Bella Luna My beautiful beautiful moon How you swoon me like no other, oh oh oh
//Sunday, April 11, 2010 12:17 PM
Last night, I dreamt that Father T. gave me Holy Communion 3 times. Isn't this like against Canon Law or something? I wonder what is the symbolism behind my dream. Hahahahahahahaha. It is for me to know. (:
So at 6 plus in the morning, I thought about us again. And this time, I thought it through. Why hold on to it? It's pointless. Maybe we can restart, maybe we can ignore each other for the rest of our lives, maybe we can be friends who will have loads to talk about. I rather have you as a friend who can talk to me all day long and never grow tired. But still, all day is too much. Once in a while when we both feel like it, will do. Heh. You said that you will help make me a better person. It's alright, by letting go, it has already made me better.
//Saturday, April 3, 2010 7:22 PM
These moments I feel like I am bursting at the seams.
//Friday, April 2, 2010 11:29 AM
Good Friday is not supposed to be happy, k.
Do you think we can make it?
I was extremely terrified of our phone conversation that very night. When you wanted to let go. The unspeakable fear caught me by the throat, and signal my tear glands to fall. I didn't think I'd care so much. But what matters now is what we have. Yesterday I had an awesome Maundy Thursday Mass; Faith and I washed each other's feet, and Homily, made so much sense to me. Father Terence really, really, touched the most important part which explained to me why what happened had to happen. "Maundy comes from the word, Mandatum, which means, commandment, which comes from the phrase, A new commandment, I give unto you, that you love one another, as I have loved you." At the end, he also said, "Maundy Thursday is a new beginning, with your spouse, with your children...." My heart burst with joy. It was really amazing. Lenten Vigil, was way beyond my expectations. We reflected, yes, but somehow it felt much deeper than previous sessions, we got to experience what Jesus experienced before He reached the Sanhedrin. Although ours is really just the base of what He had gone through. And all the more we were thankful for being in His shoes for a while. It is amazing because right now God has given me immense energy and strength to type all these down. One of those living testimonies. Thank you for the cross, Lord. Thank you for the nail pierced hands. Washed me in your cleansing flow, Now all I know, Your forgiveness and embrace.
|
|
|